A Father's Vigilance: Daughters Need It their Whole life Long

 This blog began during the throes of COVID-19. It's been over two years since our first and only post. It is almost unbelievable that so much time has slipped by so quickly. The hope is that posting here can be more frequent going forward.

The following is a newspaper column by Lori Borgman.

____________________

A father was holding his little girl's hand at a busy intersection where strip malls have multiple ins and outs on every corner and left turn arrows perform a precision-timed choreography.

The little girl was bundled in pink snow pants and a pink jacket with her hood pulled tight. The only part of the little girl that showed were chubby cheeks, a thick crop of bangs protruding from her hood and dark brown eyes.

Her father had a tight grip on her small hand. He looked left and right, over his one shoulder and then the other. He hit the pedestrian walk button again.

He took half a step forward with one foot, then quickly stepped back. It wasn't time yet. False alarm.

The little girl patiently stood beside her father with her feet planted. But her little arm, stuffed like a sausage in a pink polyester casing, moved back and forth as her dad turned left, right and craned his neck to check cars coming from behind.

The father was vigilant in protecting his little girl.

I couldn't help but wonder how long the father will remain that vigilant. How long will he take the lead? How long will he assume responsibility for the safety and wellbeing of his daughter? 

I hope he's there through her preschool years so that she has someone to hold her, a lap to sit on, a back to climb and a pair of shoulders to ride for a change of view. She'll sleep well at night knowing he's just down the hall.

I hope he looks out for her in elementary school, that he cheers as she rides a bike without training wheels, that he attends her school conferences, makes sure she's getting a good education and develops a moral compass pointed true North.

As he protects her from traffic, may he protect her from what she sees and hears. Monitor that television and computer [and phone] as much as those left-turn arrows. Guard her childhood and shield her from sick images and warped ideas.

I hope that dad keeps his grip tight as she navigates the rough waters of early adolescence. She'll come to know a lot abour herself through the eyes of her father. Girls often listen more intently to what a father says than a mother, because fathers tend not to talk as much as mothers. Choose your words carefully, Dad, both the critical ones and the encouraging ones.

I hope he stands down any peer group that tells her a female is nothing more than body parts. As she witnesses the flat-out race to the bottom among many young girls competing to be coarse and vulgar, may he take her by the shoulders and say, "Not you. You're so much more than that."

Hang tight, Dad. Not just at the crosswalk but in the years to come. She needs you--more than you both may know.

Parenting Teenagers: Teens and Tech

Barna, the research giant, recently reported that average American teens receive their first smartphone at around 12 to 13 years of age and their first tablet around age 11.  

It turns out that teenagers have mixed feelings about the predominance of technology in their lives -- perhaps we all do. High percentages of teenagers believe that tech makes their lives easier and offers connection to friends and family. But at the same time they also worry that their devices are harming their ability to connect to others and making them even more bored than they were without the device.

The premise of social media is that it connects us, and it does to a point. However, teenagers--some of the heaviest users of social media--have begun to worry that technology is actually coming between people. Data show that nearly seven in 10 teens (68%) agree that devices keep them from having real conversations, and a third (32%) says devices sometimes separate them from other people. 

Perhaps the on-demand entertainment in their pockets is too powerful. When Barna asked how technology makes 13–21-year olds’ lives harder, top answers related to productivity, with over half of teens stating issues like wasting time (54%), procrastinating on work (53%) and being generally distracted (50%). Nearly two in five respondents (37%) admit they get bored easily when they are not online.

When asked about tech activities versus real-world activities, teens prefer real-life experiences such as talking to friends in-person, going outside in nice weather and spending time with family. However, as the chart below shows, preferences don’t always translate into reality. Though teens largely prefer in-person to online activities, they admit to often spending more time in the digital realm than in the real world. While they wish they could engage with the real world, their devices usually win.

While teens aren’t known for their love of discipline, when it comes to devices, they’re largely in favor of having restrictions. Over three in 10 teens (43% of those 13-15 years old, 32% of those 16-18 years old) have had their parents set restrictions on tech—typically on what they can view and on hours of screen time—and over four in five (83%) say they felt their parents’ rules were “about right.”

Teens do in fact hunger for guidance and wise decisions around tech. Some practical advice for starters includes: moving devices out of bedrooms, setting device-free dinner times and taking breaks from tech altogether (e.g. no tech days). 

Topic to Ponder: We all use and benefit from tech in varying ways and to varying degrees. Sometimes even though we see the negative side of it, we still struggle in breaking away. In some cases, tech becomes an addiction that consumes an inordinate amount of time and energy and can become the driving force in our lives. 

How do I achieve tech-balance in my life? How do I balance using this tremendous gift from God, but still make sure it is serving me while I am serving God, rather than being controlled by it? How do we provide balance for our children, train them to maintain responsible balance on their own? 

Do you have more topics to ponder?  Share!

Source Article: https://www.barna.com/research/teens-devices-connection/?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=Barna+Update%3A+U+S++Teens+Worry+Devices+Are+Getting+in+the+Way+of+Real+Connection&utm_campaign=2020-11-18_MTWL+launch_BU

Why Vine 'n Shoots?

Greetings and welcome to this new blog.

I will be learning along the way so if you are an experienced blogger, please bear with me patiently.

The focus of this blog is to share information and thoughts from a biblical perspective on topics that relate to marriage and parenting. 

God's Word has a great deal to say concerning both of these areas of life. One such place is Psalm 128:3, "Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table." The title of this blog, "Vine 'n Shoots," is drawn from this passage.

Periodically, insights and information on either/both of these topics come across my desk. When these seem generally helpful, I will share them. At times, a particular Scripture passage and application will arise in reading, conversation, or study. When that happens I will share them.

I also welcome your thoughts, reactions, contributions to the conversation. Please pass them along.

--Pastor Wayne Eichstadt

Gethsemane Lutheran Church

Spokane Valley, WA